What's All the Fuss About?!?

Finally, the wedding that the Duggar Fans have been waiting for, Jill and Derick Dillard. I dare say the most popular wedding of the heavily booked wedding day. What made her wedding so unique from all of the other thousands of weddings that took place Saturday, June 21, 2014? (besides the fact that she's a Duggar!) The Kiss, of course!

While I'm sure there were a FEW other brides married on Saturday that shared Jill and Derick's belief of saving the kiss for their wedding day, most did not.

In a society where many biblical morals and values are put aside for "times have changed." The purpose and meaning of those are lost, until a family on a reality show live by what many would call out of date rules.

Webster's dictionary defines a kiss: To Salute with the lips, as a mark of affection, reverence, submission, forgiveness, etc. Interestingly, the first mention of a kiss in scriptures is when Jacob was betraying his father Isaac in Genesis 27:26-27. Obviously, there had been thousands of marriages prior to this time, but oddly no mention of a kiss only the physical act of marriage until this story.

Based on biblical teachings, "The kiss symbolized the sealing of a legal contract or bond. The kiss is also  a symbol of commitment, which is why it is so important that a person not kiss before marriage," As stated in the book The Sacredness of a Christian Wedding. An example of this meaning being when Judas kissed Jesus in the garden. "His was a hypocritical act that took the sacred symbol of commitment and turned it into an appalling act of betrayal."

To Christian's who believe that their bodies are the temple of God, they guard their hearts and bodies to live a Christ honoring life for His name's sake. This requires devotion and dedication to the Lord. When a relationship starts with respect for the spiritual well being of another the physical will be a sweet reward God prepared for marriage. Just as Sarah referred to sex as "pleasure" in Genesis 18:12, when she over heard the angel of the Lord telling Abraham that she would have a son, doesn't kissing someone you're romantically fond of pleasure you? Arousing desires that can't be righteously fulfilled as a Christian outside of marriage.

Derick said, "You can really get to know each other on every level without the physical part of it."

Jill said, "We want to save the physical side of our relationship for our wedding day and not go further than we should." "If you are kissing, it gets more intimate. Obviously, you can kiss and not have sex. It's about setting a higher standard so you don't struggle with temptation."

Could kissing (and beyond) be asking (or requiring) your mate to pleasure you before you commit? Putting the physical desires above a persons spiritual needs? A slightly selfish act?

You must admit the decision to wait is a difficult one. Growing up we learn to affectionately kiss those we hold dear. As their hearts have knit together the natural urge to kiss those you love grows with it, but to control that urge can only be controlled by a greater love for their Saviour.

I seriously doubt either of them were disappointed in their first kiss or the many thousands they've had by now. They held to their beliefs and are enjoying the joy of a clear conscience and the  "PLEASURE" that came with the wait.

Congratulations to Derick and Jill! May you live Happily Ever After.

Want to use this article in your E-zine or website? You can as long as you include this complete statement:

Owner of Simply Elegant, Dana Ellison publishes "Fancy That" a bi-weekly e-zine. Get your FR*EE modest brides shopping guide: "What Every MODEST Bride MUST Know to Turn Wedding Gown Shopping into a Delightful Experience" at www.simplyelegantforyou.com . Get updates, ideas and sneak peaks on her Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/simplyelegantforyou

The Gracious Bride

Short engagements and high expectations will stretch even the most gracious bride to the breaking point. The best way to demonstrate graciousness is to expect stressful situations and plan accordingly.

1. She is Forgiving and Forbearing

Prepare for people problems. Planning a wedding means dealing with people and people mean problems.

 

Understand that offences and errors will come. Exploding does not fix anything and usually requires clean up. Problems happen for a reason and may even cause a better result.

 

2. She has Seasoned Speech

Practice gracious replies for negative comments, compliments, and dealing with problems before they arise.

 

Practice graciousness when speaking about sizing. This is a sensitive issue whether coming from a large or small person. Comments about a dress making you look fat when you are wearing a size 8 can sound prideful to others.

 

It's best to use general comments when you dislike a style on you as in "this isn't the style I was looking for" or "I don't care for the fullness." These are less offense and shows respect of other's feelings.

 

3. She is Discreet



Keep private matters private. Wedding planning involves close contact and communication discovering sensitive issues about someone. Not everything needs to be shared with others.

 

Learn to read peoples expressions and reactions. If you see someone is uncomfortable with a wedding decision be sensitive of their needs or beliefs.

 

Control yourself in uncomfortable situations. Don't make a scene this only draws more attention to what you are uncomfortable about. Use your practiced reply.

 

4. She is Genuinely Kind and Considerate

Humbleness is not discounting the compliments of others. That only discredits their opinion.

 

Be aware of all of the people in your presence. Acknowledge everyone that you can especially if the event is to honor you.

 

Learn to graciously say NO to overly helpful people and unnecessary offers. People that care about you can show their excitement by wanting to help not thinking that you may have plans for that area. Thank them for their offer and tell what area you could use some help so they can feel useful.

 

Treat family kindly. Stress can cause us to take our frustrations out on those closest to us. When the wedding is over you are still family and you don't want to have resentment over wedding plans.

 

5. She Fears the Lord

"Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Proverbs 30:31

 

Do you have a reverential fear of God? When it all comes down to it true graciousness comes from within, it really can't be faked. People know if you are genuinely gracious.

 

As a Christian bride you represent the church of the living God. Graciousness is a typical characteristic of the church; wouldn't you say?

 

Keep in mind your Heavenly Father knows the desires of your heart and ordains all circumstances you will deal with because all things are for our good and His glory. Prepare to represent your faith in the best possible form, because this day really isn't all about you. It's about creating a God ordained family. 

 

Happy Planning,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Want to use this article? You can as long as you include this complete statement:

Owner of Simply Elegant, Dana Ellison publishes "Fancy That" a monthly e-zine. Get your FR*EE modest brides shopping guide: "What Every MODEST Bride MUST Know to Turn Wedding Gown Shopping into a Delightful Experience" at www.simplyelegantforyou.com . Get updates, ideas and sneak peaks on her Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/simplyelegantforyou